The United Select Soccer Association is a competitive soccer club supported by Dynamo Soccer. USSA plays traveling teams in the southern suburban area.

Stupid Things Actually Said By Soccer Commentators

1. Well, it's Bears two, Socks non, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Bears for the win.

2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.

3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.

4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.

5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.

6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.

7. Their manager isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.

8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.

9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.

10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.

A Manchester United fan’s wife is in the doghouse after giving her hubby a £550 ($1000) season ticket — FOUR MONTHS after the Premiership kicked off.

She bought it last year but didn’t hand it to him until his 40th birthday earlier this month.

Her blunder meant the fan missed 11 games.

To make matters worse, she also bought her son a junior ticket.

A fellow United supporter who sits near the man at Old Trafford said: “A few of us noticed the seats were empty. His wife mustn’t know much about football. He must be gutted.”